I Curse You, Subscribers!

After syndicating my blog with FeedBurner, I've been using some of their add-ons and publicizing features. Sadly, every time you log in, the main screen displays your feeds and slaps you in the face with "Number of Subscribers: 0".

It was getting depressing, so I subscribed to the feed myself. (Trust me, "1" looks a whole lot better than "0".) Imagine my surprise when yesterday I logged on and saw "3" subscribers listed. I was elated! People love me and my blog! In fact, they like it so much they're subscribing! And it follows that there must be more people reading the blog that haven't subscribed.

Suddenly, I felt responsible. Obligated, if you will, to start putting out regular posts with quality content. Don't want to let down or disappoint the subscribers!

Well, today I logged in just for fun and found that I'm back to 1 subscriber. *Sigh*. I checked the stats, and it looks like I had three subscribers on Sunday, and back to one on Monday. One day. That was all they gave me. And they didn't even hang around - they actually took the time and effort to un-subscribe.

So now I'm back to one subscriber...and we all know who that is!

Well I'll show you! I might just take a blogging hiatus, or start posting cat pictures, or bad recipes with ingredients you've never heard of! Maybe I'll start photographing random people, or talking like a complete moron. Or maybe I'll use my blog as a kind of therapy session to talk about my feelings and other gooey stuff. Yeah, you wanted a war, I'll gvie you a war! I'll have the worst blog on the internet! I'll offend you with my ridiculous posts, recycled pictures, horrible grammar and bad spelling. (Well, maybe not bad grammar and spelling...wouldn't want to offend my last subscriber. That guy's awesome!)

Planet Bizzle Has Been Syndicated!

Yeah! It took me a while to figure it all out (I'm at work, people) but I managed to successfully syndicate my blog with Feedburner. You can click here to subscribe to my posts, or click the icon above.

Airbus SAS A380

Have you seen this thing? It’s now the largest passenger plane on the planet. It made its first commercial flight on Oct 25, 2007 from Singapore to Sydney.

The aircraft can carry 525 people in a three-class seating arrangement, or 853 people in full economy-class format. It’s as tall as a 7-story building. But it ain’t cheap…an average economy ticket costs around $1,000.00.

The Airbus A380 surpasses the Boeing 747-400 as the world’s largest passenger aircraft – ending Boeing’s 37-year claim to the title.

Today I’m a Democrat

Okay, so this isn’t one of those self-indulging political blogs, but I feel obligated to tell my readers that I am now a bleeding-heart liberal. And so is my wife.

I recently received a “Rock-the-Vote” address verification form in the mail because I guess some computer finally figured out that I lived in one precinct but was registered to vote in another. Anyway, I took the opportunity to not only update my address, but change my party affiliation. Afterwards, I took Angela by the Supervisor of Elections’ office and she changed to the big D as well. Do I get some sort of conversion bonus for her? There should be a bonus.

Now hold on a minute - this isn’t due to any kind of recent soul-searching, or some ridiculous anti-war protest thing. I’ve made no mass-reorganization of my ethics or value systems. I don’t like blue better than red, and elephants are still way cooler than donkeys. So before the Democratic Party starts reveling in their victory of my conversion, let me make the reason clear.

In Florida, you can only vote in your own party’s primary. And point blank, the Democratic Primary will be more exciting and more relevant than the Republican Primary. And I definitely plan on switching back to Republican after the primary. I’m not a straight party-line voter, but I do tend to agree with Republicans on the majority of issues.

Just to be clear, here’s my stance on the big ones:
Abortion – Against
Gun Control – Against
Extended Welfare Programs – Against
God in Public Schools – For
Death Penalty – For
Gay Rights – For (Yeah, I know it’s out of sync)
Environmentalism – For (OK, this one, too)
Global Corporations – For
Steaks – For

Why are steaks on the list? ‘Cuz I always think of Liberals as eating home-grown vegetables and tofu and stuff. Just want to set the record straight. But, for now, I’m a Democrat. Lovely.

Okay, that’s enough politics. Here’s something a little more fun:

Yogi Bear: Black Bear or Grizzly?

Yogi Bear has been delighting Jellystone tourists with his antics for decades. But exactly what species of bear wears a matching hat and necktie? Let's examine some facts:

• Yogi is brown. Grizzly bears are brown, and black bears are (get this) sometimes brown. 1 point for both species.
• He famously describes himself as "smarter than the average bear." Grizzlies are much more intelligent than black bears, and have larger brains. 1 point for grizzly bear.
• Yogi's constantly running away with pic-a-nic baskets. Both grizzly and black bears scavenge for food. 1 point for both species.
• He's slightly taller than Ranger Smith. Black bears grow to be 5-6 feet tall. Full-grown grizzlies can reach heights of 8 feet. Assuming Ranger Smith isn't a giant or an ogre, 1 point for black bear.
• Yogi walks on his hind legs. Both species can manage this, though a grizzly is more prone to do so with regularity. 1 point for grizzly bear.
• He lives in Jellystone Park. I've always thought of Jellystone as being somewhere in the northern contiguous US. Grizzlies are only found in Canada, Alaska and Hollywood. 1 point for black bear.

Final result: 4 points for grizzly bear, 4 points for black bear. I guess he could really be either species. This "test" of "facts" revealed absolutely nothing. What a waste of time. Well, at least I'm on my lunch break. What's your excuse?

Sabotage!

Recently I wrote a post about my wife and a competition she entered. I have since found out that I could have sabotaged her chances by blogging about it. I've removed the post, and you will have to wait until January '08 to get the info - sorry about that!

Those of you who read the post, let's try to keep it hush-hush, OK? I know I can count on you, 'cuz hey, if you can't trust anonymous internet users, then who can you trust?

What's Gross?

Diet Chocolate Fudge soda.

What's Grosser than Gross?

Diet CHERRY Chocolate Fudge Soda. Yuck!!

Rosh Hashanah

Rosh Hashanah (ראש השנה) is a celebration of the Jewish New Year, which began yesterday at sundown and lasts through Friday night. Welcome to 5768 everybody!

The traditional greeting on Rosh Hashanah is "Shana Tova" Hebrew for "A Good Year," or "Shana Tova Umetukah" for "A Good and Sweet Year." Because Jews are being judged by God for the coming year, a longer greeting translates as "May You Be Written and Sealed for a Good Year" (ketiva ve-chatima tovah).

Some Rosh Hashanah facts:

• characterized by the blowing of the shofar, a trumpet made from a ram's horn
• begins 163 days after the first day of Passover
• can never occur on the first, fourth or sixth days of the Jewish week

Happy 26th Birthday, Angela!!

Today my wife celebrates her 26th birthday.

Happy Birthday, Angela!!

The Toothpaste Ruse

See the flat toothpaste tube in the foreground? That's MY toothpaste. I say it like that because, unbeknownst to me, my wife broke into the new tube already and has been using it in secret!

Apparently, she's been using the nice, full tube (probably squeezing it lazily from the middle) while I've been cramping my hands up trying to coax the last few drops of watery goo from the old tube. Each morning, when I see that flattened tube still sitting beside the sink, I think, "Well, she brushed her teeth already, so there must still be some toothpaste left in it." Then I start squeezing and twisting like a madman to get it out.

Today, she walked into the bathroom and said, "Really? You're still using this old thing?" And I'm like, "Yeah...aren't you?" And she's like, "No. I haven't been using it since Monday. I just wanted to see how long you would keep using it!"

She then confessed that on Monday she broke into the new tube, and each morning when she's done she puts it back in the box and sets it against her electric toothbrush so you can't tell the box is open (see photo above). Talk about evil. Talk about diabolical. Talk about...clever!

I have to admit, it's pretty funny, and it was a great experiment. I don't know how long I would have continued to use that thing! I'm just glad I got to use the new tube this morning. I got a nice, full dollop, and it tasted much better!

In the end, I'm glad I have a scheming wife. Wait...that didn't sound quite right. What I'm happy about is having a wife who's interesting and unpredictable. She definitely keeps life interesting!