Aug 29, 2006

Big Bear Clizzle is The Shizzle!

After leaving the house this morning on my way to work, I realized I had forgotten to eat breakfast. Normally, I have a Jimmy Dean suasage, egg and cheese croissant breakfast sandwich. (Mmm, mmm!)

I had to stop and get gas, so I didn't have enough time to hit a drive thru. So once I got to work, I clocked in and headed for the snack machines. I put my dollar in before I looked through the glass, however, and I didn't see anything I wanted. When I pressed the coin return button, I got back $1.50 in quarters! Bonus! Party! Now I had six quarters in my hot little hand and I was off on my quest.

I headed downstairs and found the Cloverleaf Big Bear Claw at the first machine on the ground floor, but the Cloverleaf Big Texas Cinnamon Roll was behind a package of Ms. Freshley's doughnuts. I hit two more breakrooms, but couldn't locate an accessible 'Big Tex'.

I finally found one at the break room furthest from my cube, on the ground floor nearest the cafeteria. Both items were only 75 cents each, so it worked out nicely. Why did I seek out 'Big Tex' so diligently? Hello! The Cloverleaf Big Texas Cinnamon Roll Won the 2005 and 2006 Automatic Merchandiser 'Pastry of the Year'. That should be enough right there! It's taste is the stuff of legend. used to be my favorite. But after trying the Big Bear Claw today, I've changed my mind. The 'Big Bear' now reigns supreme as the ultimate snacking adventure; a gooey goliath that dominates the pre-packaged pastry industry. Look out, 'Big Tex', 'Big Bear' has got a message for you--better enjoy all the perks that come with your prestigious award, becuase he's coming for you in 2007!

Aug 22, 2006

Why Today Cannot Be Opposite Day

As a kid, it always bothered me when my brother or sister would turn my answer around by saying, “Nuh-uh…today’s Opposite Day! No means yes!” And then they would barge into my room, cannibalize my LEGO house for the parts, write on me with crayons, or do some other thing that I had told them not to do. It bothered me because the idea of an ‘Opposite Day’ was not only ludicrous, it was impossible.

The argument is easy enough. It’s not a designated day, so it’s just up to an individual to declare. But if someone says, “Today’s Opposite Day” then they’ve just negated what they’ve stated and it’s really not.

So there!

Aug 17, 2006

I'm an Aries?? Really??

No, not really...

All my life I've been a Pisces. Y'know, the two fish circling each other constantly in perpetual turmoil? Yeah, that's me all the way. But if you check my profile, you'll see that I'm an Aries!

Okay, my birthday is March 20, which is right on the edge. I'm always the last day in Pisces. Several respectable publications like The Enquirer and The Farmer's Almanac will back this up.

My first thought was, "My God, the planets have left their courses and the galaxy is headed for imminent destruction!" I guess might have made some sort of mistake, but c'mon...this is the internet! Grand bastion of truth and warehouse of accurate information.

I checked my profile to make sure I had entered my birthday correctly - I had. I then checked out some online horoscopes, y'know, to rule out the whole 'end of the universe' thing, and they confirmed that I'm a Pisces. Whew!

Maybe is using some horoscope list that was made in Taiwan, or China. No, that can't be right...they got it right on the 'Year of the Horse' thing. I don't know...all I can say is, I guess you can't believe everything you read on the internet (sniffle, sniffle). Except what you read on this blog, of course!