Jul 29, 2008

File Under: Dude, Seriously?!?!

Sometimes, life is stranger than fiction. MAD Kids recently published a piece titled "Least Popular Wii Games", and it cracked me up.

Then, I heard a rumor--or, what I thought was a rumor because it was so ridiculous--that there was a game called Wii Extreme Eating. I mean, c'mon...really? That's freakin' disgusting!

Well, I am happy to report that there is no such game. Why? Because it's called Wii Major League Eating instead!

The game makes "extensive" use of the Wii Remote to "simulate a variety of eating techniques including the cram, toss, and 'typewriter.' Burp-offs and Hot Potato challenges during the contests keep the competition intense and eaters on their toes." [OMG, are you kidding me?!?!]

It will play "like a fighting game," requiring players to "master a smorgasbord of offensive and defensive weapons including bites, burps, belches, mustard gas and jalapeƱo flames while cramming and chewing food at a world-class pace." [WTF?!?! This just gets worse and worse!]

And apparently, there’s also a “Barf-o-Meter” that you have to keep your eye on. If it fills up you...um...well...you lose.

Man, talk about scraping the bottom of the creativity bucket. I guess this game is popular with the same demographic that enjoys booger candy and fart spray.

Law and Order: The Coloring Book

Artist Brandon Bird was watching three hours of Law and Order a night, and was inspired to create a Law and Order Coloring Book. It's got everything - ingenuity, creativeness and detail. The pages even contain quips and phrases that you'd expect to hear on the show. Finally - the drama and suspense of Law and Order can live forever in cartoon form. My only complaint? You'll be out of red crayons before you know it!

In 2004, the Law & Order Coloring Book was presented to actor Jerry Orbach (Lennie Briscoe) during "Late Night with Conan O'Brien".

Bird then took it one step further and organized a show that took place in Santa Cruz, California at the end of May 2003. Over thirty artists from throughout the country participated. Since then, other pieces have been added, such as the SVU Valentines in 2006.

Famous Swords - Baptism

William IV, called Fierebrace (meaning "Iron Arm" or “Strong-o’-the-Arm”), was the Duke of Aquitaine and Count of Poitou in the late 10th century. His sword Baptism saw frequent use as William fought to protect his holdings - often against the counts of Anjou.

In 988, William went to war with his brother-in-law, Hugh Capet, the newly-elected king of France whom William refused to recognize. Capet renewed his claim on the great duchy of Aquitaine and invaded it that year. Capet’s royal army suffered defeat on the plain of the Loire Valley, where William sheltered the young Louis, son of Charles, the last legitimate Carolingian heir. William opened the palace of Poitiers to him and treated him as royalty, regarding him as the true heir to the French throne. William finally retired to a monastery, as his father had done, leaving his wife Emma to rule Aquitaine in the name of their son William until 1004.

Jul 28, 2008

Some Notes From Your Host

Hey Everybody! Just a quick post to let you all know that I am still alive. Some of you may be familiar with my normal summer habit of not blogging, but in fact this was all planned.

During the month and a half that I refrained from blogging, my subscriptions went down 71%. I had been getting concerned that my blog was becoming too popular, and I want it to remain an underground institution - unknown, unrespected, unread. Unknown blogs are the true voice of the people. Someday, a futuristic search engine will come across the blog and all will be revealed, but until then, I'd like only my most-trusted friends and associates to read the material herein contained. So I took some time off, and the casual readers dropped me like calculus.

To the few diehards that remain, I vow to reward you with some new material that you all ADORE (most likely related to Famous Swords and Today in History) very soon.

And if I don't, consider it Purge #2.