Looking Forward to Temporary Insanity III

Everyone always wants to know how fast a vehicle can accelerate from 0 - 60. The question that never gets asked, however, is how fast a vehicle can decelerate from 60 - 0.

Kinda makes you wonder what happened to the first "Temporary Insanity".

Ben Goes Hunting At A Friend's House

Saturday night, my wife and I were visiting at our friends’ house. They have an enormous weed / bush growing out from under their back porch so everybody went out back to look at it (not much to do in North Florida). I had already looked at the weed earlier that night, so I decided to use the bathroom while the others were outside.

The bathroom is at the back of the house, with a window that faces the backyard. I was smart enough to shut the miniblinds over the window before I “got down to business”. Well, everything was fine until I reached for the toilet paper. It wasn’t anywhere to be found. Not on the wall, not on the back of the toilet or beside it, not on a stand, not even on the washer or dryer that faced the toilet. I looked everywhere! I even looked for a new package that I could open to get some out – but nothing.

I decided I was making the search much too hard for myself, and the T.P. was probably in some obvious location that I was clearly overlooking. I started reasoning out the situation. “Let’s see…it’s nowhere visible, so it must be somewhere that isn’t visible.” But from my location, I couldn’t reach any cabinets or drawers. “OK, what if it had been all used up by the last person?” I looked in the trash can, but saw no evidence of an empty roll. Man! Where is it? I was starting to get desperate.

Then, it hit me. I had shut the blinds before sitting down. Maybe, just maybe, it was on the window sill. I figured, as crazy as it sounds, it’s the only place I hadn’t looked, or thought to look, because the window was behind me. I reached back, lifted up the blinds, and…there it was. Yes! Come to find out, the man of the house had botched the installation job, so the wife was insistent upon getting a stand. Unfortunately for me, the stand hadn’t been purchased yet.

At least now I know what to get them for Christmas.

Planet Bizzle: Latest Posts Dull, Infrequent

I have to apologize for not blogging over the last few months. I’ve been pretty lazy lately (and by lately I mean the last four months). And it’s not like interesting things haven’t been happening…my wife and I went to a Weird Al concert, we vacationed to DisneyWorld and St. Augustine, and we’ve had some funny stuff happen around the house. I just haven’t been putting in the effort.

I do want to continue with the amusing pictures and the short blurbs about random stuff, but I am committed to getting back to the heart and soul of this blog – personal narratives. So…see you in six months!

Now That's Great Advertising!

And the Newsroom Falls Silent...