See the flat toothpaste tube in the foreground? That's MY toothpaste. I say it like that because, unbeknownst to me, my wife broke into the new tube already and has been using it in secret!
Apparently, she's been using the nice, full tube (probably squeezing it lazily from the middle) while I've been cramping my hands up trying to coax the last few drops of watery goo from the old tube. Each morning, when I see that flattened tube still sitting beside the sink, I think, "Well, she brushed her teeth already, so there must still be some toothpaste left in it." Then I start squeezing and twisting like a madman to get it out.
Today, she walked into the bathroom and said, "Really? You're still using this old thing?" And I'm like, "Yeah...aren't you?" And she's like, "No. I haven't been using it since Monday. I just wanted to see how long you would keep using it!"
She then confessed that on Monday she broke into the new tube, and each morning when she's done she puts it back in the box and sets it against her electric toothbrush so you can't tell the box is open (see photo above). Talk about evil. Talk about diabolical. Talk about...clever!
I have to admit, it's pretty funny, and it was a great experiment. I don't know how long I would have continued to use that thing! I'm just glad I got to use the new tube this morning. I got a nice, full dollop, and it tasted much better!
In the end, I'm glad I have a scheming wife. Wait...that didn't sound quite right. What I'm happy about is having a wife who's interesting and unpredictable. She definitely keeps life interesting!